I can’t blog. I just can’t.
It’s not as if I don’t have anything to say though.
I have lots to say. Lots of things and ideas are up there, swishing around. But the actual task of sitting down and typing something – anything! – up seems too tedious. I don’t feel I have the energy. There is just too much distraction.
Or maybe I’ve gotten too used to the slacking.
I mean, it’s really easy to blame Facebook and YouTube for when I am not able to work. But really, if I wanted to, couldn’t I concentrate on the work at hand? Why do I always have to leave things last minute? Or lose my focus in the middle if I make the mistake to start work a little earlier than the last few hours?
This happens particularly when I’m ‘writing’.
But you know what happens when I do sit down to write?
I write this one amazing sentence that has been swimming in my head for a quite a while now. And then I continue with the story at hand. In a matter of ten minutes, I’ll have filled one whole page, in terms of MS Word.
And then, I’d spot some grave error and have to go back to the beginning. I’d discover that a very vital piece of information in the story line is missing and unless I go back to the beginning, the story won’t make sense.
I have another few amazing sentences littering the screen of my monitor.
But wait! I scroll back up and read through again. It still doesn’t make sense.
Cut this word here. Add that phrase there.
Move back to enjoy the view.
Will have to write the whole thing from scratch.
So all I end up with are random Word files placed around in various folders in my PC, all containing itsy bitsy pieces of the English language. I barely even look at them again.
And it’s all gone down the drain the next time my computer overheats. Oops.
Not that I am worried. I have no precious written material anyway.
Hence, why did I think I could blog? Why did I think I could make sense out of all these voices in my head? Why did I use to think I could make ‘a name’ using my writing skills? Why did I think I’d be able to write? That I’d be disciplined enough to write?
Considering the number of hours that I spend online doing absolutely nothing and being bored to death I could at least try to use my time more creatively. You’d think so!
But all this belongs to the past…It should belong to the past…It is about the here and the now. It is always about the here and the now. …
And the here and the now is here. It is this blog and I…
Electricity’s back. How I Met Your Mother would be coming on Star World soon.
Oh wait…I should delete the last two sentences…they make me sound so non-serious…
And I think I’ve missed that thing I was thinking about. I will have to rewrite this post…I shouldn’t be a blogger…!
Note to self: Must not hit the ‘publish’ button…whoopsie daisy!