Revenge


There’s a famous saying: Don’t go to bed early. Stay up and plot your revenge.

Such lies when it’s more like: Stay up tossing and turning. Seething in your own rage. Arguing with the “culprit” in your head. Logically but forcefully. Imagining the other person bowing down to your ultimate reason. Feeling hot fury course through your veins every time you think about them. Which is every second.

Tossing some more.

Balling up your fists in the effort to stay calm. And then giving up because you almost sliced open your palm with your own nails.

Silently whimpering with the pain of almost having stabbed your palm with your own nails. Feeling your blood boil once again as you think of them. Thinking of what they almost made you do to yourself.

Tearing up at the stupidity of it all.

Giving up.

Falling asleep.

Wishing you could just…sleep in peace forever.

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Zzzz…


Sleep.

Sleeps seems to be the only thing on my mind these days. Nothing else even remotely seems to matter. I don’t want to read. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to surf channels on my television. I don’t want to watch any of the movies I have lying about in my laptop’s downloads. I don’t want to text anyone. I barely want to scour any of the funny sites.

I just want to close my eyes and drift off.

That is precisely why getting up in the morning is so difficult. It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that I end up going to bed late every night despite telling myself the whole day that I will sleep early tonight. I wish. But I still don’t.

Dilemma? Sleepy but not wanting to sleep.

Sleep feels like such a waste of time. I could actually be doing something very very important.

I could be reading the best book out there. Writing the next best seller of all those damn lists. Surfing the eighty-plus channels on my local cable. Watching the countless movies that I have lying about. Texting all my awesome friends. Scouring the very many funnies online.

Shit.

*failed attempt at suppressing a yawn*

I shall just forget to take my finger off the F5 key after pressing publish till I can admit to myself that people are actually going to fall asleep right in the middle of reading th…*snores*.