My Year In Review


It’s that time again.

The time for review and reflection. The time to look back, at all the good and the bad, and “resolve” to do better…

For me, only in retrospect though, 2012 was a good year; better than 2011 in many ways.

I am still naive in many regards. I still let my hot head rule my words. I still wear my heart on my sleeve. I still worry too much and over-think everything.

Despite everything, I feel I have grown. Both up and out of my shell. A bit.

2012 was the year in which I managed to perform a very essential duty due a Muslim. I rarely blog about religion – thoughts, beliefs, opinions, practices, etc – but it was both a time with family and with God that I cherish. This was one experience that I won’t ever forget in my entire life, and I pray to God that there isn’t a point in my remaining life that this happens. Though it wasn’t easy, if I could go back, I would do it all over again.

The year also marked important career decisions. I once again tasted the thrill – and hardships! – of job search and the application & interview process. Now, I’ve finally settled down at (my current) work, quitting one internship and an earlier job in the course of the last twelve months. Having gotten the hang of operations, there are many moments where I really enjoy my “hidden” power and influence. Overall, I am just really thankful that all these opportunities did come my way.

In this regard, there are also lots of new people who have come my way. Some really nice ones. And some old ones have secured an even more permanent position in my (scarred) heart. Their presence through the best and lowest of times, their patience through my blubbering, and their ability to give me perspective is highly appreciated.

A shout-out to finally acquiring a smart phone (though still not smart enough to use it, it turns out) and applications like Whatsapp & Viber.

There was only a normal amount of reading and a minimal amount of writing, except here on the blog. Maybe 2013 would be the lucky year?

I did find some new favorite bands and musicians though: Mumford & Sons, Florence & the Machine and Of Monsters & Men. And it is just a coincidence that all of these have words starting with ‘M’. Promise!

At the same time, 2012 was also the year when I had my first major accident, after having a driving career of seven years. Mostly, my own fault. It was scary and I learned how fear makes a person scream. Yet, I was once again very ‘lucky’ since I wasn’t hurt and only the car was damaged. And that I didn’t have any passengers. Phew!

2012, in retrospect, in one word: lucky.

Cheers to that and hoping that this one would be a good one as well!

Poop Resolutions


Taking stock. Happens at the end of every year. And the end of every year, there is lots of  talk about the resolutions we are going to make for the upcoming year.

Because every year we realize that we can – and should! – do much more with our lives. Or at least better.

Hence, we resolve to do more. Better.

Lists are made. Plans thought about. Promises with self.

I don’t believe in them.

As if the change in a number on a calendar means we can change ourselves. As if we learn. As if the rotten leaf can turn over again. As if one resolution can atone for our sins.

As if the empty shell of a life we’re living would no longer be empty.

But all we end being is a chameleon. Changing colors with the band wagon of resolutions. And actually, not even remembering what we resolved about that year when its end also draws nearer and another year, another number, looms up.

Hence, I don’t believe in them.

The funny thing is, if we really want to change ourselves, we can do so at any time of the year. We don’t have to – or rather, shouldn’t have to – wait for the end of a year to try to see where we went wrong. It should be a constant process throughout the year, throughout the life span.

Because: if we can not keep one on a daily/weekly basis (kinda like a mini-resolution), chances of us following the major ones are even less.

For example, I keep telling myself everyday that today is the day I am going back to my blog; that I am going to set aside twenty-five minutes and write a brilliant post and hit publish before I go to bed. That today, I am finally going to fill those forms that my father asked me to do so ages ago. That today, I am finally going to call my bank and complain about my debit card’s functioning. That today will the day in history that I will wake up for work on time. That from today, I am going to not eat junk food. That from today, I will be regular in taking all my meds. That today, I won’t even think about not thinking about a certain person.

Sigh.

The best part of following mini-resolutions would be that there would actually be less pressure. That there will always be room to tweak and adjust.

And we shall get started on the road to more and better.

If we really want to turn over a new leaf through the means of a new year’s resolution (as a means to an end, because admit it, that is all what these resolutions are about, right?), we need to at least start thinking about managing our daily self-promises better.

New year’s resolutions are poop if we don’t do this first.

End of rant.

Psst: One resolution down! *pat to self*