Me Too!

I was there, too!

The first meeting. That really interesting conversation. A quick bite before class. Chilling at the end of the long day. The late-night walks. The inappropriate jokes. Cramming in the library. The non-study sessions. Pouring out your heart. Explaining all the things in your head, without giving too much away, and knowing we still got it. Complete randomness. The panic attacks. The gossip sessions. The staring into space. The heated arguments. Changing the world, one discussion at a time. And more…

Or maybe there’s a perfectly good reason why I’m the only one who remembers this: a case of falsememoriginitis.

Better go take my meds now.


Some days, a face is all the catharsis you need.

You barely feature in their life. You might not have seen each other in a really long time. Or been in touch properly. Or talked lately.

But none of that matters. It doesn’t matter that you meet for a couple of hours after a really long time. It doesn’t matter that you are in a group situation. It doesn’t matter what you do when you get together. It doesn’t matter what you talk about.

The fact that they are willing to see your face, spend some time with you, hold a conversation with you, not look or sound repulsed, laugh at your stupid jokes…

Well, it just proves that they are absolute gems, and without even being aware of the fact, they help you. And they make up for all the people who – to put it politely – don’t or for whom you just don’t seem to exist (anymore, suddenly).

A thousand friggin’ times over.

“So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light.”

~Ghosts That We Knew by Mumford & Sons

And you just know that it is going to be alright. It won’t be easy but it would be alright.

Advice On Advice

Today, I gave advice to a friend. Not the first time, either for dispensing advice or for advising this particular friend.

But it got me thinking. It was funny how coherent I sounded. And calm. Collected. So wise. Balanced. Logical. One thought flowed from the previous flawlessly. It all made perfect sense.

Stop thinking about the past. Move on. Stop obsessing over the past. Comparisons need to end. What has happened has happened. Don’t lose faith. Keep believing and you’ll get there. There will be a point in her life when none of this would matter. Stop wasting time and be more productive. Be strong and harness the power inside you.

And so on… (Damn. I should have recorded that phone call!)

Tooting my horn aside, I have to wonder: when did I get so coherent? Or calm or collected or wise or balanced or even logical for that matter? When did I start dishing out advice as if I had all of life and it’s difficult questions figured out?

Because I’m not and I haven’t!

Faced with any “trouble”, I would have exactly been the opposite of all these. The simplest of things, I over-think. Faced with a difficult situation, I easily lose sleep. I barely move on, remembering each and every detail and impression and what was said and what was not said. I obsess over things in the past. Comparisons never seem to end. I find it near impossible to let bygones be bygones. I lose faith easily, especially in myself. The one constant wish is for none of this to ever matter and yet, it does. I waste time rather than being efficient and focused and I give up. Very, very easily.

So why on earth am I trying to sound like I have all the answers? How on earth do I sound like I have all the answers?

I suspect it’s all about perspective.

Someone from the outside, a third person, telling you something that you almost always already know. Someone reaffirming what you already thought. Perhaps with a slightly different approach and in a slightly different way that gets the ball rolling. And helps you make that leap of faith that you were missing.

And of course, this is easier to do for someone else than for yourself. Hence, the whole calm, collected, wise and logical aspect.

But what we should remember is that everyone and anyone can give you good, practical advise. Everyone and anyone will give you good, practical advise. The only thought that counts, whether wrong or right, is your own.

Giving yourself a different perspective is one of the hardest things to do but that is the only kind that matters, at the end of the day.

My advice to you: the choice must always be yours.

Cherishing Memories

Those hours that you were just considering cherishing forever?

Yeah, those are gone and here you are writing a blog post to cherish them already. All that laughter and conversation. All that gladness. That warm and fuzzy feeling of comfort. Of satisfaction.

Just memories.

Who knows when’s going to be the next time you can all sit together? If, in fact, you can, at all?

Such is the sadness of life. Even in the gladness. The cold feeling of this-will-be-over-soon amidst the warmth. The satisfaction is just an illusion. A mirage that only provides virtual, temporary comfort.

And the memories? Pretty soon, those are going to fade away too.

Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.

(Bob Dylan)

Reality Check

A friend told me how, when she called a really good friend of hers, she found out that people had been talking about. To be more precise, she found out what people had been saying about her.

Now, I didn’t know what the problem was, specifically, but I knew better than to ask. She’s already a private person. But even if she wasn’t, it was obvious that she hadn’t heard anything good from her friend. Hence, the anger, the sadness; the desire to hibernate.

I’m sure ALL of us, at one point in our lives or another, have been a victim of wagging and gossiping tongues. Completely disregarding whether the info they are sharing is right or wrong or what the consequences are for their victims, of course. But this last thing wouldn’t hit home until they get cut by someone else’s razor-edged tongue.

So, as was expected, I texted my friend back immediately, telling her to not pay heed. There is no other option but to brace yourselves and turn a blind eye to such things.

Easier said than done, of course.

If I was in her place, I would have had the same reaction. And in fact, no words in a text would have consoled me.

But that is all you can do, sometimes: put your faith in the higher power and the few ‘words’ that you see on your smart phone screen.

Here, I’m saving my text message reply in an effort to be able to take my own advice. A reminder, possibly in harsh words. But it is a cruel world and survival demands being cruel to your own self.

“Baby! You need to stop focusing on people. They NEVER stop talking. Even after you go into permanent hibernation six feet under!”

Think before you speak. It’s not that hard.

Giving Thanks

I have had a long day. I didn’t sleep much last night. Already it is going on 1 am and I still have a little task to complete before I can call it a day. I am very sleepy and distracted but I just wanted to put this into cyber space…

To all my friends that I communicated with, in some form, today 15th November 2011, Tuesday: THANK YOU!

This goes for all of you guys. Whether I talked to you in the office, met you in person, had a chat via texting, gave you a call or posted on your wall on Facebook…thank you! In your own special and unique way you made this crazy day a whole lot better.

I am not going to name names. You know who you are: absolutely brilliant! I’m the not the best of persons at times but your sticking up with it makes you even more special and me even more appreciative. Allah Almighty has blessed me a lot in this one form.

Truly very very sorry if I have hurt you in the past – hope you can forgive me and overlook my mistakes.

And please! Continue to be awesome! 😀


When You Can’t Find The Straw…

..Because you think you can find it without looking.

Imagine yourself with a group of friends sitting at a coffee shop, discussing some philosophical ideas, or maybe just talking about how the guy you have a crush on completely ignored you today.  Thinking that you are too cool for coffee, you decided to go for a lemonade instead, just to stand out.

Suddenly, the conversation gets good. Eyes are directly on the person speaking. But then, someone reaches for their coffee cup and takes a sip. You see, a sip is one of those things that people follow naturally when we see others doing it. Sort like yawning, or the likeliness to cross the street last minute if we see someone else do it first. I see it all the time when the professor is about to end a lecture, and there is always that one person who starts shuffling papers before everyone else.. sometimes even extra loud, just to trigger others to look at the clock and start putting their things away. This is serious stuff, people.. I’m actually having a serious discussion about this as I type. But anyway, just as since everyone is reaching for their coffee cup, you reach for your lemonade. Nobody looks down at their cups, so naturally (just found out the term for such action is imitative impulse), you don’t either. It wouldn’t be a big deal.. but you’re using a straw.

You must sit there, moving the cup around to try to blindly aim the straw into your mouth. Or you might even do it the other way around (by moving your mouth around in order to find the straw), which isn’t any better; you’ll end up looking like a cow trying to eat invisible grass. Where is the darn thing?!

Finally, you give up and look down. Ah, there it is.

Sip. . . ah.. kward.

Reblogged from: Awkward List #90