Stay a little while longer, why don’t you? We can continue to have fun.
Sleeping till late and promising to adopt a proper routine soon everyday.
Eating junk food. Trying to control our junk food intake.
Being a complete potato couch. Watching horror movies. Microwaving popcorn and being happy they didn’t come out burnt.
Talking to mom in the kitchen as she cooks. Dreaming about being as good as those kids in MasterChef Junior.
Feeling jealous of the people going abroad for studying. Watching little kids talking like smart adults.
Trying to write more than a couple of whiny tweets. Trying to read the books we bought. Being glued to our cellphone.
Buying pretty clothes. Trying to think of ways to pack them best. Making lists and plans.
Wanting to go to lunch with friends. Writing a bucket list. Putting everything off.
Dancing in the monsoon rain. Getting comfortable on the phone. Thinking things might be okay.
Feeling utterly confused and being too bemused to show it. Pretending we’re okay.
Being utterly terrified and too afraid to show it.
And if you don’t stay…If you go, you take it all with you…
Except the fear.
So take my hand and look me in the eye and tell me you won’t leave me. Tell me you won’t succumb to time.
Tell me you won’t leave me alone with my fear.
Please, August. Stay.
There’s a famous saying: Don’t go to bed early. Stay up and plot your revenge.
Such lies when it’s more like: Stay up tossing and turning. Seething in your own rage. Arguing with the “culprit” in your head. Logically but forcefully. Imagining the other person bowing down to your ultimate reason. Feeling hot fury course through your veins every time you think about them. Which is every second.
Tossing some more.
Balling up your fists in the effort to stay calm. And then giving up because you almost sliced open your palm with your own nails.
Silently whimpering with the pain of almost having stabbed your palm with your own nails. Feeling your blood boil once again as you think of them. Thinking of what they almost made you do to yourself.
Tearing up at the stupidity of it all.
Wishing you could just…sleep in peace forever.
“Don’t you see it?” he asked, almost in a whisper.
“See what?” she said loudly.
“There. Over there.” Pointing. “Among the flowers.”
“But there are flowers everywhere!” she exclaimed, gesturing with her hand.
“I know,” he said. “Look straight ahead from where we are standing. In the direction I’m pointing and you’ll see her.”
“Her?” She was clearly puzzled.
“Yes, her!” he emphasized, though still almost-whispering. “She was looking at me. She’s been looking at both of us constantly since you stopped to pick-.”
She cut him short. “Stop joking around, Brent. There’s no one here.”
“I’m not joking,” he insisted. “She’s really there. Jen, look closely…”
He sounded somewhat desperate but her face was set.
“I’m leaving, Brent. Enough is enough, okay?”
She had already started walking. As he began to follow Jenny, he looked back one last time. She was still staring at them. He gulped, turned around and willed himself to not stop.
Image Source: “Mouth Flower“
He looked out the window, mesmerized as always.
The moon was right where it always was: nestled between the two mountains as it cascaded down as a waterfall right into the river below.
The river which was the lifeblood of his people. Without the moon and its light and its magic river, they were nothing.
And mesmerized by this glorious sight, he suddenly began wondering. Where does the moon get its power from? What is the…- no, no! He looked away and drew the curtains, shutting off the glow.
His heart thudded loudly in his chest and his breathe became shortened.
What had he almost done? He must not think this. Not at all!
Memories of stories came back to him now. Told in whispers in the shadows. Horrific tales of how fiercely such matters were dealt with.
These kinds of thoughts were not tolerated and they always found out. That was their sole job, to protect the lifeblood of this people. At all costs. With their lives if necessary and anyone else’s when required. And they were good at it.
He closed his eyes and sank to his knees, leaning against the wall for support. There was a sudden metallic taste in his mouth – there was no place to hide.
From either the thoughts or them.
I don’t like fairy tales, mostly for their fantastic nature. I don’t believe in them. I can’t believe in them. Things don’t happen that way.
So if a fairy dies because I don’t believe in it, it doesn’t matter. Because it’s not even real and it’s merely a tale!
Demons, on the other hand, are real enough.
We don’t even recognize them but we are their best friends. They burrow deep into our hearts and make permanent homes there. It doesn’t matter whether we believe in them or not. They don’t need us to believe to exist.
They simply do, quietly doing their jobs. A whisper here. A nudge there. And voila!
Eyes narrowed. Brows furrowed.
We only see what they want us to see. We only hear what they want us to hear. We only do what they want us to do.
And we do. And we do. And we do.
Nothing else matters then. No blood, no relation, no faith, no sense. No fairy tale can save us from their clutches.
Nor any magic, neither logic.
And all because these demons are deeply rooted in our hearts – thanks to all our insecurities and what we term as “realism” but is in fact pessimism wearing the cleverest disguise.
And we do. And we do. And we do. All their bidding.
Till everything turns to ash.
No rest till then.
I need you to understand something before I kill you…I need you to understand why!
People make fun of me. And so what I really need right now is not to be laughed at. Like I’m a joke! Well, I am not and soon the world will know it. Once you’re dead, that is. Then they will have to take me seriously.
So all in all, you’re dying for a good cause. Really. And I…I need the practice as well. Farewell, “friend”. I’m sure you will be rewarded on the other side.
With these thoughts running in my head, I raised the slipper in my hand and brought it down with full force. Ha! Now my wife can’t laugh at me for screaming every time I see a cockroach!