YOLO: The Brushing Brew

You only live once but you have to brush your teeth twice a day.

At least, that’s what we generally hear.

Of course, if you follow Hinduism, then you’ll have to get used to reincarnation. If you get turned into an animal or a bird, then you may conveniently ignore this ‘rule’.

Ditto, Buddhists. Except you could be nice (I’m sure brushing your teeth counts) and achieve Nirvana and put an end to it. And cats are said to have nine lives.

Regardless of the number of lives you have, dentists insist – on television mostly – that teeth health is dependent entirely on cleaning them a couple of times a day. You know, with the toothpaste they are currently being paid to advertise.

But my dentist – the one who does not appear on television as far as I am aware – is very cool. He does not recommend the twice-dail yplan. No, sirree. How mainstream!

Brushing your teeth twenty times a day – not that is something indeed. Something hipster even, dare I say?

This is exactly what he told my sister when she went for her treatment and check-up.

Brushing teeth twice a day does not cut it, apparently. Usually, a person brushes their teeth in the morning. Choice of before or after breakfast; or a combination of the two. Yes, you’re allowed to clean your teeth in the shower as well. And then, once before bed after you’re done eating. Late night snack…may…be exempt from this rule. Remember: nothing too mainstream though.

He, on the other hand, would have us brushing once every hour. Toothpaste is not needed every time. (Thank God! I wouldn’t wanna run up that bill). It is just important to keep the teeth clean as much as possible.

I totally get it. My dentist has no delusions. Everyone thinks their job is the most important one. He knows.

So. Brushing teeth more than twice a day should be no problem, right? All you have to do is to carry a toothbrush with you. And use it every time you use the loo (a topic for another post :o). Very simple. I have a million things stuffed in my handbag already. A measly toothbrush won’t break my shoulders any further.

Turns out that’s not the biggest hurdle I face. It’s mostly the fact of remembering to put the toothbrush in my bag. And having separate toothbrushes for use-at-home and use-on-the-go just seems a bit too much. Also, I am lazy enough to just think about this and not actually do this.

If I ever won an award for my laziness, I’d send someone else to collect it on my behalf; I’m that lazy!

This reminds me that once, eons ago, we had to write about one thing from our daily routine for an Anthropology course and I choose ‘brushing my teeth’. What relevance this has to anything, I don’t remember.

Remembering to brush my teeth twenty times a day? My dentist wishes!

Hey, you only live once. Can’t waste time cleaning teeth twice every day. Yikes! I have much better things to do with my time!

Blast From The Past

Councilwoman Mel Burke looked a little too familiar on the new series on Star World India Melissa & Joey. Familiar and nice and relate-able…I was hooked.

Add to this the fact that the story line is generally entertaining and the punch lines are funny and witty.  Tadaaa! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Hence, I try not to miss it – a good way to spend half an hour.

The other day, while watching a rerun of one of its episodes, I saw that Mel Burke was played by Melissa Joan Hart.

Oh. My. God…

A bell trilled loudly somewhere in my head. Really loudly. OMG!

But that’s Melissa! I mean, Clarissa. I mean…*takes deep calming breathe to organize train of thought*

I mean Mel is the Melissa who was the Clarissa. Ding ding ding! Looks like I had the right answer!


I was almost jumping in excitement at this revelation. Remember “naanaanaanaanaa”?

The realization I had stumbled upon was this: Melissa Joan Hart used to do a kids/teen show on Nick which was interactive in a cool kind of way. And a really cool cool kind of way. The intro to Clarissa Explains It All was like where she wrote her name and then twisted it around and then we could see it clearly and all the other characters would appear out of one of the sides of the screen, with Clarissa also dropping in. All done to a wonderfully addictive soundtrack comprising of some upbeat music and “naanaanaanaanaa nanananaaaa”. I can hear it playing in my head, even though it was eons ago.

Ah! Those good old days…a right blast from the past this was.

I can’t believe that MJH has grown up so much. Of course, she has to have grown up. But still, it feels a little ethereal maybe? In my head, I can still see her as that nice, witty and sarcastic teenager who seemed to know what she was doing. Providing some good, clean entertainment along the way. She even showcased a pretty great sense of fashion. A-mazing show it was.

And then, of course she was also Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, maybe an even more mainstream role than Clarissa (although personally, I hardly saw it).

Seeing her on Melissa & Joey also made me feel nostalgic and I realized how much time has actually passed. I mean, just yesterday, she was a middle-schooler and teenage witch, going through the daily grind and now she is a councilwoman and an aunt for two teenagers with a hot, male nanny for them.

She doesn’t seem to have lost any of her acting skills, charm or wit.

Go Mel!

For Sale: Batteries (Batteries Not Included)

What the TV Commercial Shows

What the Commercial Would Have You Believe

What Happens in the Real World

A whole family enjoying their fried chicken dinner, smacking their lips and smiling throughout Loudly eating one’s food somehow constitutes acceptable behavior at the table. “If you smack your lips one more time you will get no dessert. It’s been a long day. Just eat quietly or Mommy will get upset again.”
A car driving along a winding country road If you buy this car, you will experience the pleasure that can only be had by handling a precision-engineered roadster in welcoming scenery. If you buy this car, you will experience the same traffic and frustration as you do with your current model, only with less money remaining in your bank account.
A highly visible name-brand, well-groomed men and attractive women The mere presence of a particular beverage at your event, however humble, will make everyone associate you with attractiveness, and of course everyone will have a great time. You will spend slightly more money on the brand featured in the commercial, but not much else will change.
Teenage boys giving one another high-fives upon discovering a certain beverage in the refrigerator The parents who chose to purchase the beverage must be the coolest people on the face of the Earth. Your children will complain that you bought the “wrong” brand no matter what you do.
A daughter asking her mother about that “not-so-fresh” feeling Daughters routinely discuss their intimate habits and icky moments with their mothers. Daughters would dive into a swimming pool filled with razors and lemon juice before they would discuss intimate matters with Mom.
A celebrity recommending or enjoying the product By purchasing this product, you associate yourself with the greatness that the celebrity represents. By purchasing this product, you associate yourself with all the other suckers who think there’s some actual association between the celebrity and you.
People chatting freely on their mobile phones, blithely unconcerned with cost Join this cellular plan and enjoy meeting your telecommunication needs without the stress of a complicated or expensive payment plan. You forgot to read the fine print, and the advantages offered in the commercial don’t actually apply to you.
A veritable army of action figures, elaborately laid out, with several excited, happy children clearly having a great time using them These toys will keep your kids occupied for hours on end with good, clean, creative fun. Three words: Each Sold Separately.
Lithe, scantily clad models with faraway looks Buy this fragrance and transform all your human encounters into sexual adventures. The knock-off brands at CVS are just as good and a LOT cheaper. Plus, the checkout girl there is kinda cute.
A jumbo jet cruising gracefully along above the clouds, with the sun glinting appropriately off various parts of the fuselage Choosing this airline will get you to your destination quickly, reliably, affordably and comfortably. TSA agents are paid to make your life miserable, you coach-ticket-buying prole.
A smiling customer with an overloaded shopping cart, examining her receipt with a gratified look The low, low prices at this supermarket will transform the mundane act of buying groceries into retail Nirvana. The low, low prices at this supermarket are made possible by lousy service, crowded aisles, defective carts and the entire population of your region descending on the store exactly when you wish to make your purchases; then some jerk will nonchalantly amble into the “10 items or less” checkout lane with a cartful of stuff and play all innocent.
Tropical beaches; tanned, sexy people in swimsuits; palm trees This vacation destination has everything you want, and then some. Getting sand in your swimsuit, not to mention your unmentionable parts, is horrible. The humidity will encase your skin in a permanent layer of sweat. You will break the bank getting there and back, and when it’s all over you have to go back to work, if you even still have a job. Oh, and the airline lost your luggage.
Snappy lines from a new comedy now in theaters This film will have you rolling in the aisles with laughter. The lines in the commercial were the only remotely amusing ones in the whole movie.
Politician X looking important, accomplished and concerned for Americans Like You Politician X is the right choice if you want safer streets, better education for your children, a strong military, secure retirement, growing economy, sound foreign policy and restored national pride. Politician X is a low-life, womanizing, corrupt, venal Machiavellian with good hair.
Stylish people romping or relaxing in stylish clothes with other stylish people in stylish clothes These clothes will make you stylish, especially if other people can see the brand-name label on them. Nobody worth spending your time with will assign any importance to the label on your clothes.
Reblogged from MightierThanThePen.

How to Make Friends

How to Make Friends Step One: See them around town. You like what you see. They seem nice, always chatting with passersby or wearing something fun. Give them a little nod as you pass to show that you want to be best friends. Follow them to their favorite lunch spot. Memorize their order so that one day you can be in front of them in line and order it, then hear them gasp delightedly behind you and say, “That’s my favorite!” I can practically hear the sound of friend … Read More

via writer’s block