A Glowing Example


…of stupidity! Yeah, I said it!

In general, I have lots of issues with ads in Pakistan and I find very little motivation to document them (having done just once before). But this is one that I think I can do this one quick and get it done with and maybe, have an iota more of peace.

I have just one mamu (mother’s brother). He doesn’t come over too often. So I really like it whenever I get a chance to meet him. Whether it’s at our place or his.

But if it’s at my place, I don’t resent his presence in my house. Or the way he hugs me. With always a smile and a joke or two. A kind word. A boop on the nose.

Or sometimes just a rub of his cheek against mine so that I feel every one of his day-old beard’s bristles.

But this is what we are teaching the kids of today (and tomorrow): Your mamu coming over is an inconvenience. You can’t be stylish in front of him ’cause he is old fashioned. He’ll pinch your cheeks in a really annoying way. And again. How rude!

You’d be bored to death, with your phone and your friends (and obviously, a very good mobile and internet network) as your only hope. And who better to rescue you from a decidedly unentertaining afternoon than your very cool and hip friends. What else are friends for?

Of course, it is very plausible to be asking about a test prep all dressed up. In person. I don’t think I need to mention that it’s clear that there was no test in that ad’s universe. Unless it was a test our patience!

A hurray for gullible parents at the (almost end) of this post as well as the ad.

One look at a beautiful woman and go crazy!

Or not! Remember: bros before hoes. Always.

Glow away, my friend. Very far away from me.

Life’s Epic Dramas


Being young isn’t that easy, says the deep mysterious voice.

True. I’m sure most people would agree.

What shoes to wear? Where to go out with friends?!

*tears hair in confusion*

Nokia Smart Apps on Nokia Smart Phones to the rescue! *taadaaaaa*

Because choosing the right color of shoes to wear when going to the club that night is such a major decision to make. God forbid you wore the wrong heels to the party! I mean, I would just die of embarrassment!

Same when looking for a place to hang out that night. It has to be the hippest place. And certainly, it is okay to use the backdoor.

Life’s epic dramas, indeed!

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, get a clue here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeI2LBqUOzM and here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYOzNQE_3uY.

I get it that it is only an advertisement about how handy phones are that even the obscurest of information is available at one touch of the button at all hours of the day (or night, if you want to be specific).

On the flip side, however, I also see that for this generation of young people – one that I belong to as well, even if the situation doesn’t apply to me specifically – the most important things are looks and clubbing. Or even if they are not, the ‘media’ is feeding them further information pertaining to the same. Even if just an idea of it in an over-dramatized ad. And this idea just seems too shallow to me. Yes, that is how annoying I’m finding these ads.

I admire the artistic side of the ads though. They’ve been shot brilliantly and that deep, mysterious voice is definitely something that catches a viewer’s attention. But that is it. I would like to think – and believe – that we, all of us,young or old are more than just people looking for a good time or caring that the shoes we wear match our dress.

Imagine, if this is what ‘drama’ is for us…we would just fall into pieces when faced with real crisis.

Taking it too seriously? You betcha!

Someone has to. ‘Cause all these things reflect on both your and mine world.

Now this is drama, ladies and gentlemen.

Ad-ding It Up


S. Shah – Rohani Scholar Extraordinaire – able to solve all the problems of all women. All those who have lost hope should contact at least once as a last resort.

If you want to stop a marriage or get married; want to enslave your lover’s mind completely; want husband’s full attention or have disobedient children; constant fights at home or issues of property inheritance; whoever wants revenge should contact immediately; know lottery numbers through Jinn; expert in making right left and left right

Have everything done while sitting comfortably at home. Total secrecy guaranteed.

Someone stuck this ad under my windshield wipers the other day. I perused it while I put the key into the ignition switch and went about putting on my seat belt. It was printed on rough cardboard, in red and black ink, and a contact number was provided for all those interested.

I couldn’t help laughing out loud (no, not the text messaging ‘LOL’ where you don’t actually laugh at anything, let alone ‘loud’).

Yes, I know you must be wondering whether I’ve lost my mind completely (a post for a later time, folks). How could I be laughing at something totally serious?

Jinn are revealing lottery numbers to us – BINGO!

Also, who wouldn’t want to make left right and right left? Really, I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve wanted to be ambidextrous. It would have been especially helpful when I was writing those long exams at school.

And of course, now I know how I will stop X marrying Y and then have X all to myself; he will live a much happier life, I’m telling you. At the same time, the cold and sweet dish of revenge is mine, all mine! *insert evil laughter*

See? This is extremely funny…

It is extremely funny how even in this scientific day and age, we believe in the rohani (spiritual) element and black magic so firmly. So much that it is only because of our ‘belief’ that people like S. Shah continue to exist and thrive in the society. So naive are we that we continue to be ensnared by these people time and again.

I have to admit: black magic does exist. Even our religion tells us so. And so do Jinn, and can easily be ‘used’ by people who I know how to.

Does that mean we should? Mr. Shah and his countless colleagues definitely thinks so.

Yes, poverty and lack of education (or maybe just plain old ignorance?) are definitely behind all this. Who wouldn’t want to make a little extra money by winning the lottery? Especially when you can barely make ends meet in the first place? But sometimes even the highest level of education and wealth is like spun sugar when face-to-face with the ‘results’ of such actions.

And you know the funniest thing? We demand ‘logic’ and a ‘rational’ explanation when we are called towards faith (generally true for most religions), but for things like this, all our ‘logic’ jumps right out of the fifth storey window.

Anyways, excuse me. I need to run out and call up Mr. Shah in order to ensnare X’s mind so he that he ditches Y and is forever mine. Being doubly sure never hurt.