Twenty Four Beats


One. Two.

Twenty-four is not a big number.

Three. Four.

You can count to twenty-four in a matter of seconds even less than half of twenty-four.

Five. Six.

Only, it becomes a really heavy number once it is twenty-four heart beats that are no more.

Seven. Eight.

Dead for their country, in an unprovoked attacked by NATO helicopters and fighter jets, as they manned their posts.

Nine. Ten.

Quick, sharp response from the Pakistani government officials and condemnation all around.

Eleven. Twelve.

“Culprits” banned out of an airbase.

Thirteen. Fourteen.

Decide to block NATO supply routes indefinitely.

Fifteen. Sixteen.

Protest! “Sovereignty” under attack.

Seventeen. Eighteen.

Oops. NATO and US officials say they will investigate fully.

Nineteen. Twenty.

NATO chief tweets condolences.

Twenty-one. Twenty-two.

A tweet is better than another raid.

Twenty-three. Twenty-four.

Twenty-four is not a big number.


Minus twenty-four.

Blast From The Past

Councilwoman Mel Burke looked a little too familiar on the new series on Star World India Melissa & Joey. Familiar and nice and relate-able…I was hooked.

Add to this the fact that the story line is generally entertaining and the punch lines are funny and witty.  Tadaaa! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Hence, I try not to miss it – a good way to spend half an hour.

The other day, while watching a rerun of one of its episodes, I saw that Mel Burke was played by Melissa Joan Hart.

Oh. My. God…

A bell trilled loudly somewhere in my head. Really loudly. OMG!

But that’s Melissa! I mean, Clarissa. I mean…*takes deep calming breathe to organize train of thought*

I mean Mel is the Melissa who was the Clarissa. Ding ding ding! Looks like I had the right answer!


I was almost jumping in excitement at this revelation. Remember “naanaanaanaanaa”?

The realization I had stumbled upon was this: Melissa Joan Hart used to do a kids/teen show on Nick which was interactive in a cool kind of way. And a really cool cool kind of way. The intro to Clarissa Explains It All was like where she wrote her name and then twisted it around and then we could see it clearly and all the other characters would appear out of one of the sides of the screen, with Clarissa also dropping in. All done to a wonderfully addictive soundtrack comprising of some upbeat music and “naanaanaanaanaa nanananaaaa”. I can hear it playing in my head, even though it was eons ago.

Ah! Those good old days…a right blast from the past this was.

I can’t believe that MJH has grown up so much. Of course, she has to have grown up. But still, it feels a little ethereal maybe? In my head, I can still see her as that nice, witty and sarcastic teenager who seemed to know what she was doing. Providing some good, clean entertainment along the way. She even showcased a pretty great sense of fashion. A-mazing show it was.

And then, of course she was also Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, maybe an even more mainstream role than Clarissa (although personally, I hardly saw it).

Seeing her on Melissa & Joey also made me feel nostalgic and I realized how much time has actually passed. I mean, just yesterday, she was a middle-schooler and teenage witch, going through the daily grind and now she is a councilwoman and an aunt for two teenagers with a hot, male nanny for them.

She doesn’t seem to have lost any of her acting skills, charm or wit.

Go Mel!

Life’s Epic Dramas

Being young isn’t that easy, says the deep mysterious voice.

True. I’m sure most people would agree.

What shoes to wear? Where to go out with friends?!

*tears hair in confusion*

Nokia Smart Apps on Nokia Smart Phones to the rescue! *taadaaaaa*

Because choosing the right color of shoes to wear when going to the club that night is such a major decision to make. God forbid you wore the wrong heels to the party! I mean, I would just die of embarrassment!

Same when looking for a place to hang out that night. It has to be the hippest place. And certainly, it is okay to use the backdoor.

Life’s epic dramas, indeed!

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, get a clue here: and here:

I get it that it is only an advertisement about how handy phones are that even the obscurest of information is available at one touch of the button at all hours of the day (or night, if you want to be specific).

On the flip side, however, I also see that for this generation of young people – one that I belong to as well, even if the situation doesn’t apply to me specifically – the most important things are looks and clubbing. Or even if they are not, the ‘media’ is feeding them further information pertaining to the same. Even if just an idea of it in an over-dramatized ad. And this idea just seems too shallow to me. Yes, that is how annoying I’m finding these ads.

I admire the artistic side of the ads though. They’ve been shot brilliantly and that deep, mysterious voice is definitely something that catches a viewer’s attention. But that is it. I would like to think – and believe – that we, all of us,young or old are more than just people looking for a good time or caring that the shoes we wear match our dress.

Imagine, if this is what ‘drama’ is for us…we would just fall into pieces when faced with real crisis.

Taking it too seriously? You betcha!

Someone has to. ‘Cause all these things reflect on both your and mine world.

Now this is drama, ladies and gentlemen.

Ramazan Realizations

I don’t remember the last time there was a Ramazan with no school. This year, I am home. Hence, too much time equals a swirl of thoughts, most half-formed, begging to be written.

Here, I share some special realizations that are exclusive to this holy month.

1. Women, you are worthless if you can’t cook. You can take an illustrious start by bringing in the trolley of food from the age of six or thereabouts – good practice, you know!

2. Incidentally, your only proper place is – you got it – La Kitchen.

3. An average meal should at least have ten perfectly cooked dishes or it won’t be the true representation of the situation in the country.

4. Using a good cooking oil is the only thing that matters when you’re preparing a meal. Follow this rule to earn the respect of everyone at home, especially the fire-breathing mother-in-law.

5. It is a lot of fun to grab that plate of samosas and run away to the courtyard while other people chase you to get it.

6. Do you see the guy (who looks ten years younger than you) sitting across the table from you and watching you hungrily? Yeah, him! Wouldn’t it have been logical to serve him some fish too? He seems…hungry!

7. People have a lot of courage. Karachi-ites are surviving. Politicians keep playing the blame game. And the cougar aunty in Pepsi ad is back for another ‘episode’. There is no such thing as bad publicity, right? *takes a sip of her Pepsi*

8. Jingles have a habit of getting stuck in your head so bad that you want to carve out your brain and stab it to death. Ok, well, maybe not. But they are still too annoying.

9. It is way way more important for the Prime Minister to reach home in time for iftar. He’s the only one fasting.

10. It is ironic; for a month of abstinence, we spend even more time thinking about food than we would under normal circumstances. (Guilty!)




Facebook: A New Frontier in Social Awkwardness

Facebook: A New Frontier in Social Awkwardness

Indeed, Facebook has re-defined the meaning of ‘ social awkwardness’. Much as I admire it for the it-let’s-me-keep-in-touch factor, the charm somewhat wears off as described in the above link: For example, when people feel the need to tell others about their change in relationship status, lest someone complains that they had to find out about it through Facebook.

What a stigma that must be! Take a hint, maybe? :p

Independence Day?

Another 14th August is around the corner. Pakistan turns sixty-four years old.

Celebrations? Sure.

Five killed in Sindh. Vehicles set on fire on in Karachi. One person burned alive. Sarfraz Shah’s ‘murderer’ sentenced.

Torrential rains, with threat of flooding in lower Punjab and Sindh, killing many in latter province.

Some more robberies. A bomb hoax and a kidnapping. Another blast. Attack on a military cantonment. A few more target killings. Someone protests over something.

These are just some of the news in today’s papers from all over the country. A dismal state indeed.

This is independence and freedom?

Nope! It’s the ‘elites’ having a life-long ball at the expense of everyone else. It’s ‘insurgents’ killing people they consider unfit. It’s terrorists making people afraid of their own shadows. It’s government officials filling up their own private coffers. All of these people are ‘independent’ to do as they wish.

But we really don’t need another article highlighting all this. The media has this area covered, I would say. Complaining and blaming will not take us anywhere. If it had to, it would already have done so.

What we need is a revolution.

Sadly, we have already been pumped full of ‘anesthesia’ for it to take a mere suicide or an act of police brutality for us to come out of the rocks we have been living under. Such statements always bring a sarcastic reaction from all of us. Steeped in our apathy and sarcasm and criticism, we tend to think about giving up. And we just go on…

But I am not giving up. I am not going to give up.

It is just a matter of time. And a matter of finding the right catalyst.

Tomorrow morning, I am still proudly going to wear my green jora and the badge sporting my flag and watch all the special transmissions on TV and hope to God that nothing untoward occurs and pray for Pakistan to get well soon.

This might all I be able to do right now but this is how I show all those people who try to convince us that all this is proof that Pakistan is a failed state and should not have been ‘made’ and blah blah blah. It might not be much but it’s way more than sitting at home and complaining.

I’m not giving up. You’re welcome to join the bandwagon.

Pakistan Zindabad!

Do You Feel?

Do you feel?

Sami Shah poses this question to us and I pose it to you here.

Do you?

I think I feel more when my favourite TV show is cancelled. I might have felt for the donkey Shah mentions if I had known about it. Yes, that is the extent of the sad state of our lives…

The riots in Britain and the terrorism and target killing in Pakistan are not comparable. But we still sympathise with them. No one should go through such things.

We do feel. But it’s buried deep inside us. Way way deep.