The Pardon

Everyone is outraged.

Once again, it would seem that justice’s ass has been kicked. The rich have wielded their magic power wand. Money/threat has been used by one group to terrorize the other, weaker one to submit. The law in the country has favored the former. “Our” religion seems to have aided these people in promoting their own agendas.

And so, everyone is rightly outraged.

There is already no hope in/for our country. This was one thing that people believed in. One thing they stood for. One thing that brought them together. And now, with the pardon, it has all been for nothing. With the pardon, the nation supported Shahzeb and his family for nothing! With the pardon, who will ever stand up for justice ever again? With the pardon, who will ever want to stand up for justice again?

Oh, people!

Giving up won’t bring you closer to this goal. Ever.

So what if once again the rich’s magic money wand waving has gotten them out of trouble? Saying you’ve lost hope and won’t come out in support for such causes is equal to saying they have won.


We’ll get there, people. One of these days, we will get there. Slow and steady wins the race.

But I understand. Hope is a very fickle thing.

What Protest?

In my head, I had this really deep and meaningful post thought up about the Gaza and Palestine conflict. I was ready to wow everyone with my awesome analyzing and writing skills. It would be one hell of a piece of my opinion, protesting the atrocities being conducted by Israel on the poor Palestinians, and a wake up call to the world and what not!

What post, what protest?

I’m just another person who is silently watching from the sidelines as your innocent people are put to death. Just another person who can’t even imagine what you must be going through. Just another helpless person who could barely even write about how awful she feels. and how wrong she thinks all this is. Just another person who reads an article about how unfair all this is, shudders a little and then goes back to doing whatever she was doing before.

But what can you expect from a person who can’t do anything about the ‘bad’ situation in her own country? What can you expect from a person who won’t do anything about the ‘bad’ situation in her own country?

Sorry Palestine. I am just another person to let you down.

A Glowing Example

…of stupidity! Yeah, I said it!

In general, I have lots of issues with ads in Pakistan and I find very little motivation to document them (having done just once before). But this is one that I think I can do this one quick and get it done with and maybe, have an iota more of peace.

I have just one mamu (mother’s brother). He doesn’t come over too often. So I really like it whenever I get a chance to meet him. Whether it’s at our place or his.

But if it’s at my place, I don’t resent his presence in my house. Or the way he hugs me. With always a smile and a joke or two. A kind word. A boop on the nose.

Or sometimes just a rub of his cheek against mine so that I feel every one of his day-old beard’s bristles.

But this is what we are teaching the kids of today (and tomorrow): Your mamu coming over is an inconvenience. You can’t be stylish in front of him ’cause he is old fashioned. He’ll pinch your cheeks in a really annoying way. And again. How rude!

You’d be bored to death, with your phone and your friends (and obviously, a very good mobile and internet network) as your only hope. And who better to rescue you from a decidedly unentertaining afternoon than your very cool and hip friends. What else are friends for?

Of course, it is very plausible to be asking about a test prep all dressed up. In person. I don’t think I need to mention that it’s clear that there was no test in that ad’s universe. Unless it was a test our patience!

A hurray for gullible parents at the (almost end) of this post as well as the ad.

One look at a beautiful woman and go crazy!

Or not! Remember: bros before hoes. Always.

Glow away, my friend. Very far away from me.

Invisibility Cloak

If no one sees us doing anything wrong, it means we haven’t done anything wrong. If people see us doing something wrong but no one stops us, it means we haven’t done anything wrong.

Simple logic.

We will fire in the air randomly, not caring a bit whether someone dies because of it. Nobody stopped us, you know. Of course, we realize everyone was too busy running for their own lives and trying to keep their own hearing intact. But if they had a problem, they should have said something. Even the police officers did not seem to mind our activities. So why do you care?

We will probably get angry and b-slap a few poor women. We realize that physical violence is not the answer but sometimes, these things have to be done, you know? Some people have to be reminded of their place. Once again, nobody stopped us: not the people, not the police officers there. So we’re automatically in the right. If you didn’t like our attitude, maybe you should have said something, yeah? May we remind you, however, that none of the people we “wronged” said even one word. Guess they knew who was right and who was wrong *nod*. Better than you seem to be doing so.

It would seem that Harry Potter is not the only lucky one. We Pakistanis are this lucky too. And these are just two very simple, yet so complex, examples of incidents that occurred during the (a little more than) recent (small-level) elections that took place in the country.

We haven’t acquired this Invisibility Cloak recently either. We have become quite, quite adept at all levels at making ourselves and our actions “invisible” from any consequences, brilliant people that we are.

Thumbs up, fellow countrymen and women! (We don’t discriminate based on gender either! Ha!)

Author’s Note: I apologize for the disappearance act. A draft of this has been sitting in my folder ever since election day but I was unable to muster enough motivation to research more before actually finishing up and publishing a proper piece – something I promise myself every time. Since this is done now, I can easily move on to “massacring” the new(er) ideas floating in my brain.

Non-Review: Moneyball

It’s about changing the game but nobody reinvents this game.

I am not a sporty person. I am not a sports fan. I barely understand cricket rules properly, which is a very very important game in a country like Pakistan. I definitely don’t get a game as complicated as baseball.

But I get Moneyball: it’s about changing the game when nobody reinvents this game.

It’s not about being romantic about baseball – or any game, in fact. It’s not about losing, and it is certainly less about winning. It’s not about the underdog being given a chance. It’s not about taking chances even.

It is simply about believing. That’s all it boils down too.

I am not going on Google to find out more about the movie. No trivia or random facts. I don’t know how many awards or nominations this movie has won, if any. The end-credits tell me it was directed by Bennet Miller but I am not aware of any other of his works. And of course, I recognize Brad Pitt.

All I have to say is that it is not exactly a feel-good flick. But it does make you think and that’s always good.

Miller’s way of shooting it was impactful and I loved every second of it, even though I know less than shit about baseball. The back-and-forth-in-time is certainly not a new technique to make a movie but there are always new angles that need to be delved into. This is one movie that I’ll always remember and the brilliant direction is partly to be thanked for.

Other reasons include the star obviously. I both love and hate to see Pitt looking so old. There’s a lot I don’t know including how he suddenly got so many wrinkles. Maybe I need to stop thinking of myself as a ten year old (although I wasn’t aware of Pitt’s existence back then). Whatever the reason, he carried them too well in Moneyball, as well as my heart.

I am now even more sure that it is simply about believing. I wish life was this simple too. Despite it’s complications though, believing does help.

So we should change the game to the extent we can. May it be one itty bitty step at a time. The game will change only when we believe it can. When we believe we can. It might not always have a pretty end but we’d know we tried.


The Best Thing

I think one of the best things I ever did was post the lyrics to I’m Sexy and I Know It and really “admire” the song on my blog.

I think I actually miscalculated the “fame” of this song.  Let’s face it. My blog is read by only a handful of (very nice) people. And the only reason I get a steady stream of visitors these days is because of the above-mentioned “admiration.

Everyday, there are an average of five visits to this page. Variations of the name are an ever-present part of the Search Terms section as well as the Top Searches one. The song name was also two out of five terms that made it to the top search terms in the annual report for 2011 (after 6 months of blogging).

It’s kind of annoying because all those people just want the lyrics to the song, a song that I like so much. But fine, I can live with that. I don’t think I should be looking at a gift horse in the mouth, you know.

But it’s more so because people can’t obviously spell the word “know” or “sexy”. I also remember seeing a misspelled “and” even! Yikes!

So, I thought I’d share with you all a wonderful parody that I came across. It’s not the only one out there but it is just too cute for words.

Check out Elmo from Sesame Street in The Elmo Song.

From The Top Of My Head

For the past so many days, I’ve been wanting to write. Desperately.

And the testament to the desperation are the numerous drafts sitting in the All Posts section. Including this one, so far.

I wanted to write about so many things but things got in the way.

Time has started running away from me. When there was time, there were no words. And when there were words, there was no energy.

Soldiers died. Indignation and uproar was created; action was taken. Finally, a stand was taken. Maybe. You can’t be too sure of anything these days. People kept dying, crimes kept happening. The politicians kept up their talking. Nothing can stop them. If anything, it became even more outrageous. Oh wait, I think they are beyond that. And it’s all a conspiracy anyway. Just like the Boy who Cried Wolf – he was framed!

And we have also become an undemocratic nation, haven’t we? I mean, banning an international news channel…what guts we seem to have acquired. How dare we deny freedom of speech in any way. Even if not doing so meant we are axing our own metaphorical foot. Oh, who cares what a bunch of terrorists say!

The best possible thing to do is to divert attention by floating around a memo that may or may not have been written by the named author. And if that doesn’t work, we always have one actress short of a brain and short of publicity. What she isn’t short on is skin, ladies and gentlemen. So why not show it off a little and stir up the hornet’s nest a little more?

Not really. For that, we have our president to thank for mysteriously going for some check-up in Dubai in the middle of the night. Abandonment or a real ailment, I can guess as much as the next person and I don’t blame you for being nervous. All I know for sure is that he definitely knows how to have all the attention focused on him.

But too many bytes have already been spent on these topics. I wish the process of writing was cathartic. Even just a tiny bit. But “words” on a piece of screen don’t really amount to anything. They just remain bits of code, forever lost in cyber space. Otherwise, they just evade you and all you can do is watch silently the new catastrophe that awaits you.

Or else, there is always That 70s Show to amuse you.

Twenty Four Beats


One. Two.

Twenty-four is not a big number.

Three. Four.

You can count to twenty-four in a matter of seconds even less than half of twenty-four.

Five. Six.

Only, it becomes a really heavy number once it is twenty-four heart beats that are no more.

Seven. Eight.

Dead for their country, in an unprovoked attacked by NATO helicopters and fighter jets, as they manned their posts.

Nine. Ten.

Quick, sharp response from the Pakistani government officials and condemnation all around.

Eleven. Twelve.

“Culprits” banned out of an airbase.

Thirteen. Fourteen.

Decide to block NATO supply routes indefinitely.

Fifteen. Sixteen.

Protest! “Sovereignty” under attack.

Seventeen. Eighteen.

Oops. NATO and US officials say they will investigate fully.

Nineteen. Twenty.

NATO chief tweets condolences.

Twenty-one. Twenty-two.

A tweet is better than another raid.

Twenty-three. Twenty-four.

Twenty-four is not a big number.


Minus twenty-four.

Blast From The Past

Councilwoman Mel Burke looked a little too familiar on the new series on Star World India Melissa & Joey. Familiar and nice and relate-able…I was hooked.

Add to this the fact that the story line is generally entertaining and the punch lines are funny and witty.  Tadaaa! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Hence, I try not to miss it – a good way to spend half an hour.

The other day, while watching a rerun of one of its episodes, I saw that Mel Burke was played by Melissa Joan Hart.

Oh. My. God…

A bell trilled loudly somewhere in my head. Really loudly. OMG!

But that’s Melissa! I mean, Clarissa. I mean…*takes deep calming breathe to organize train of thought*

I mean Mel is the Melissa who was the Clarissa. Ding ding ding! Looks like I had the right answer!


I was almost jumping in excitement at this revelation. Remember “naanaanaanaanaa”?

The realization I had stumbled upon was this: Melissa Joan Hart used to do a kids/teen show on Nick which was interactive in a cool kind of way. And a really cool cool kind of way. The intro to Clarissa Explains It All was like where she wrote her name and then twisted it around and then we could see it clearly and all the other characters would appear out of one of the sides of the screen, with Clarissa also dropping in. All done to a wonderfully addictive soundtrack comprising of some upbeat music and “naanaanaanaanaa nanananaaaa”. I can hear it playing in my head, even though it was eons ago.

Ah! Those good old days…a right blast from the past this was.

I can’t believe that MJH has grown up so much. Of course, she has to have grown up. But still, it feels a little ethereal maybe? In my head, I can still see her as that nice, witty and sarcastic teenager who seemed to know what she was doing. Providing some good, clean entertainment along the way. She even showcased a pretty great sense of fashion. A-mazing show it was.

And then, of course she was also Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, maybe an even more mainstream role than Clarissa (although personally, I hardly saw it).

Seeing her on Melissa & Joey also made me feel nostalgic and I realized how much time has actually passed. I mean, just yesterday, she was a middle-schooler and teenage witch, going through the daily grind and now she is a councilwoman and an aunt for two teenagers with a hot, male nanny for them.

She doesn’t seem to have lost any of her acting skills, charm or wit.

Go Mel!

Life’s Epic Dramas

Being young isn’t that easy, says the deep mysterious voice.

True. I’m sure most people would agree.

What shoes to wear? Where to go out with friends?!

*tears hair in confusion*

Nokia Smart Apps on Nokia Smart Phones to the rescue! *taadaaaaa*

Because choosing the right color of shoes to wear when going to the club that night is such a major decision to make. God forbid you wore the wrong heels to the party! I mean, I would just die of embarrassment!

Same when looking for a place to hang out that night. It has to be the hippest place. And certainly, it is okay to use the backdoor.

Life’s epic dramas, indeed!

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, get a clue here: and here:

I get it that it is only an advertisement about how handy phones are that even the obscurest of information is available at one touch of the button at all hours of the day (or night, if you want to be specific).

On the flip side, however, I also see that for this generation of young people – one that I belong to as well, even if the situation doesn’t apply to me specifically – the most important things are looks and clubbing. Or even if they are not, the ‘media’ is feeding them further information pertaining to the same. Even if just an idea of it in an over-dramatized ad. And this idea just seems too shallow to me. Yes, that is how annoying I’m finding these ads.

I admire the artistic side of the ads though. They’ve been shot brilliantly and that deep, mysterious voice is definitely something that catches a viewer’s attention. But that is it. I would like to think – and believe – that we, all of us,young or old are more than just people looking for a good time or caring that the shoes we wear match our dress.

Imagine, if this is what ‘drama’ is for us…we would just fall into pieces when faced with real crisis.

Taking it too seriously? You betcha!

Someone has to. ‘Cause all these things reflect on both your and mine world.

Now this is drama, ladies and gentlemen.