For Better Or For Worse

Who am I?

Identity is an important part of life but what is it that defines and characterizes it? How do I know who I am?

These questions keeps coming up in my mind again and again.

Mostly, I come to the conclusion that I am who I choose to be. That I can be what I want to be. Anything and anyone.

And yet I keep forgetting an essential fact: from the moment of birth, nay conception, I’ve already been assigned certain roles.

Daughter. Sister. Cousin. Grandchild.

And before I will know, these will be transformed into even bigger ones – Wife. Mother. Aunt. Grandmother.

So with all these facets of self and roles to fulfill, who am I?

Am I not me and merely daughter of X, sister of Y, cousin of Z? Am I me because I am daughter of X, sister of Y, cousin of Z? Or am I me and being daughter of X, sister of Y, cousin of Z is of no consequence?

At the end of the day though, there’s no running away from consequence.

Here, it’s the fact that no matter how hard I try to look the other way, I cannot deny it. I cannot deny the truth of these roles. I cannot just get rid of blood, love or obligations. I cannot close my eyes and pretend they don’t define at least a part of me. I cannot look the other way and say that they are not a part of me…

Do I HAVE to be defined within these roles though? Doesn’t it seem a tad…unfair? But who’s to say I can’t have my own spin on them?

After all, I AM me as well. My own person. I cannot deny this truth either!

So maybe the answer doesn’t have to be one or the other. Maybe it can be an “All of the above”.

And so this is what I choose. Being me. Being my parents’ daughter. Being a sister to my siblings. Being a cousin to all my cousins. Being a grandchild to both sets of grandparents. And embracing the newer roles that might come my way, whenever that may or may not be.

For better or for worse.

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